just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
