i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize