I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
