Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
