Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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