I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
