girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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