just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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