i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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