I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
