You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
