Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
