My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
