my soul wont recognize me after tonight
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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