is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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