If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize