I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
