He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
