I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
