I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
