Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We talked him into tasing himself.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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