I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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