the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
