I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
