I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She tied me up with her honor cords...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
