How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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