so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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