All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
