i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
love makes seman taste better
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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