I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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