just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
