Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
