Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize