no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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