we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
