why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
