I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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