In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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