This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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