Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
