I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Green mimosas i think yes
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Blow job season was short but glorious.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
