So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
