I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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