I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize
