It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
No subtext here. People are naked.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
