their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
