I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
