The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
