I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
