I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
