we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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