Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
