I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
