I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
