FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
