ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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