just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
