sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
