he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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