I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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