Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
